Love is Hard to Keep Secret
by NerdTrash
Summary: Post The Last Jedi. Stormpilot; Finn/Poe. Poe love Finn but he sees Rose and Finn kiss, he starts to wonder if Finn loves him back.
1. Chapter 1

The memory kept playing through his head, through his macrobinoculars, he had watched the two figures kiss. Kiss! She had kissed, he had kissed, they had kissed, and he had seen. He was so mad, but he had to bottle his feelings. They were in space now, the rest of the Resistance, on the Millenium Falcon.

"Poe," he turned as he heard his name, and found it was being called by Finn, the man he loved, and the man who had kissed someone else.

"Yeah," Poe replied, trying to restrain his anger. He was surprised by Finn's embrace. He was so surprised that he didn't hug back, he just stood there. When Finn stepped away, he smiled and walked away. That made Poe even madder, he felt that the hug was a symbol of them parting ways. He angrily walked off in the direction of the cockpit. When he got there he found Rey, sitting in the pilot's seat, he took a step closer and knocked on the entryway.

"Hey," he started, "can I come in?" Rey turned around and smiled at the pilot.

"Of course," she said, and motioned for him to come sit in the co-pilot seat. Poe smiled and sat.

"Thanks." He said, the hesitated, and then spoke, "I'm Poe, like I said earlier. I'm a re-"

"Resistance Pilot," Rey cut in smiling, "the best on in the fleet." Poe looked at her in shock.

"How did you?" Poe started, sounding confused.

"Finn," Rey said, still smiling, "he's always talking about you. Always." Poe smiled at that, he could feel his cheeks getting red. "He really likes you Poe, I mean like as more than just a friend." At this Poe's smile faded.

"I don't think so." he said.

"What do you mean?" Rey asked, "do you, not like him that way?"

"No,I, I love him," Poe said clearing his throat, "and when we were on Crait, he kissed Rose." He spoke quickly.

"Kissed?" Rey said loudly, "no, no that can't be. Finn likes you, Poe. He likes you a lot. He wouldn't."

"But I saw them," Poe said. He sounded like he was about to break down.

"I don't understand." Rey said, "He was always saying Poe this or Poe that. I could sense his feelings."

"I don't know," Poe said, "I'll figure it out. Thank you."

"Of course," Rey said, "and I'll try to talk to Finn." Then Rey watch Poe walk out of the cockpit. She liked him, but in a friendly way, no more, and she knew that he truly had feelings for Finn. And she was determined to help him.

Poe walked through the group of people on the Falcon. It had been one tiring day. Through the crowd of people he saw General Leia. She seemed sad, but content. He wanted to comfort her but didn't know what to say. So he turned to BB-8, his best friend. He found him in a corner, when he sat the droid leaned his head on his shoulder and Poe smiled.

"Finn!" Rey called to her friend and motioned for him to come over by her. Finn smiled and walked over to her.

"Hey," Finn said, "What's up?"

"How's Rose?" Rey asked, "Will she be ok?"

"Yeah, she will be," Finn said with a smile.

"You like her don't you." Rey said.

"No," Finn said in a hurry, then his voice turned to a whisper, "who said that?"

"Nobody," Rey replied, "if you don't like her then what happened on Crait?"

"She saved me," Finn replied, "And then she-she…"  
"Kissed you," Rey finished. Finn looked shocked, how had she known.

"Yeah," he said, lowering his head, "and I think Poe saw." Finn lowered his head even more.

"What makes you think that?" Rey asked.

"He won't talk to me and he seems just upset." Finn said. Rey could hear the genuine sadness in Finn's voice, it made her feel terrible, but she had a mission, she had to keep pressing.

"Why does it upset you?" Rey asked. Finn looked up, and Rey could almost see the blush in his cheeks.

"N-no reason," Finn replied quietly, "but I think Poe likes me, as…" Finn's voice trailed off. "Never mind I, I gotta go." And with that Finn hurried away,and was quickly lost in the crowd of people. But that didn't matter to Rey, she was good at reading people's emotions, and she could tell, that Finn was lying.

Finn rushed through the crowd of people on the Millenium Falcon, searching for a distraction. Unable to find a distraction, Finn started looking for BB-8. Knowing that it wouldn't be hard to find the droid, he simply walked around, not paying attention much, until he saw the small, circular droid in a remote corner. Excited, he started quickly walking over to the droid, only to realize, Poe was sitting next to him. Finn froze, slowly turned around and walked away, he didn't know how to talk to the pilot, and he didn't feel like just winging it.

Poe saw Finn coming towards BB-8 and then freeze and walk away when he saw him. He clearly didn't wanna talk at the moment, but Poe did. Eager to seize the opportunity, Poe spoke quietly to BB-8.

"Get Finn to follow you to the cockpit, ok?" Poe told the droid. BB-8 beeps something quickly then rolled off. Poe stood, and made his way to the cockpit. When he got there he was happy to find it was empty. He sat in one of the passenger seats and waited.

Finn was conflicted, he didn't know if Poe had seen him, and he want to talk to him but couldn't, and he just didn't know what to do. He was about to go talk to Rey about it when he felt an object hit his leg. He looked down to see the spherical, droid BB-8 staring at him with his one big eye. The droid bumped him again, and then rolled off, stopped spun his head as if waiting for Finn to follow, so he did. The droid smoothly rolled along and Finn followed. Then BB-8 rolled into the cockpit. Finn followed the droid, but froze when he saw Poe sitting in one of the passenger chairs.

"Hey," Poe said, "I, uh, I want to, to um, talk." Poe could tell Finn was uncomfortable, and he didn't blame him, he felt uncomfortable too. "About, about us." Finn tensed, he wanted to run out of the cockpit, and fling himself into space. He wanted to do anything, except talk to Poe, but he knew he had to eventually.

"O, ok." Finn said. Then they just stood there, looking at everything in the cockpit except each other. Poe took a deep breath, he needed to express how he felt.

"FINN, I LOVE YOU!'' Poe blurted out, then clasped his hand over his mouth and ran out of the cockpit. Finn just stood there, letting the words sink in. He didn't know what to do, he just didn't know.


	2. Chapter 2

It was announced later that day that they had chosen a spot to hide out from the First Order.

"The forest moon of Endor," announced General Leia, "That's our best choice. As an old Empire base, it will most likely be overlooked by the First Order." After that there was just silent nods, and everyone started preparing for Endor.

The forest moon was cool in temperature, and pretty misty. It took Rey and Chewbacca a while to find some sort of landing pad, but when they did find on it was right by the of Empire base. Once the Millenium Falcon had landed, everyone filed off. No one knew what to do next. Immediately they found some old ships, mainly imperial tie fighters, and other imperial ships, and some old speeders. But there was an X-wing. Taking the Falcon's tool box, Poe immediately went to go fix up the X-Wing, he needed some sort of distraction from, well, everything. He hated himself for confessing his love to Finn, he wished he had never said anything, and had just kept his mouth shut.

The remaining Resistance members went and broke into the old imperial base, finding that most of the machines were intact, and that the interior was dry. They found a med bay, which Rose was transferred into, and other injured members were treated in. Finn sat next to Rose, wondering if she would ever wake. Is this what Poe had to go though? Wondering if someone you cared about would ever wake? Finn just sat there, he wanted to talk to Poe, but he didn't know what to say, or how to say what he wanted to say. He just didn't know.

Hours must have pasted, and Poe was still working on the X-Wing. He knew his hands and face were grimmy, but he didn't want to stop for a second. IN fact he never wanted to stop working, he never wanted his mind to drift off and start think about, him.

"Poe," a familiar female voice spoke, above him, "Poe what's wrong?"

"Nothing General," Poe responded, not bothering to get up from his seated position.

"Poe," Leia spoke softly, "you never work this hard for this long unless something is wrong." Poe sighed, he knew him better than he wanted her to.

"There is nothing wrong," Poe said, standing up and facing Leia.

"Poe Dameron, don't you dare lie to me." Leia spoke firmly, "you have the eyes of a heartbroken man, now tell me what is wrong." Poe didn't want to cry in front of the General, but he felt his eyes tearing up.

"Ther-There's nothing wrong," Poe said, straining to keep his voice stead, "I just wanted to fix up the X-Wing that-." He was cut off by Leia's embrace. Her hug broke him. "It's Finn" he started, "I-I-I love him, and he likes Rose, and I thought he liked me back, and I just, I just don't know what to do." Poe sobbed into Leia's shoulder. Leia hugged him, then stepped back, wiping tears from his face,

"You need to talk to him, like truly talk to him." Leia said, "It's the only way you'll coup with your feelings." Poe nodded slightly, gave Leia a small smile, and went back to working on the X-Wing.

Finn woke to someone saying his name, he woke startled, looked around, dazed, he must've fallen asleep while sitting next to Rose. He looked to his side to see General Organa, smiling down at him.

"Finn," she started, "Poe want to talk to you, outside." she smiled, then walked away. Finn was starting to panic, he didn't want to talk to Poe, but if Poe wanted to talk to him, then that was a different story. He stood up, he didn't want to leave Rose's side, but he had to talk to Poe. He took a deep breath, and headed outside.

Poe sat in the cockpit of the X-Wing, messing with a panel. He was tired, and dirty, but he didn't want to stop working. Work was like a pain killer, it took away the pain in his heart. He was actually starting to feel better, when he heard his name being called.

"Poe," Finn called, "Poe where are you?" Poe slouched down even farther in the cockpit, he want to avoid Finn at all cost. "Poe, I know your up there." His voice came from right under the ladder. Poe sat up slowly, and stuck his head out the cockpit. Finn was staring up at him.

"Please come down." He said, and Poe did. When he reached the bottom of the ladder he lend against the side of the X-Wing.

"What's up?" Poe asked though he knew the answer he was going to get.

"I'm sorry," Finn started, "I-I didn't want Rose to kiss me, I didn't want you to see, I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted to see if she was ok. It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to react. I-I-I'm sorry, if I hurt you." Finn spoke quickly about meaningfully, he could hear his voice starting to crack, he didn't want to cry.

"It's clearly not your fault," Poe said, matter a factly, "but Rose clearly likes you, and if you want to be with her, then be with her." Poe lowered his head, he wanted Finn, but he also wanted Finn to be happy, and if giving him up made him happy, then he'd give him up, he also realized he couldn't fall into relationship that he cared more about than the bigger problems at hand.

"No," Finn said frantically, "no, no, no I don't want to be with her I…" Finn's voice trailed off, "-I want to be with you." Finn, lifted Poe's head, and smashed his lips against his. He was a sloppy kisser, but Poe felt warmth coursing through his body. Poe's eyes snapped open, and he pushed Finn away.

"I-I can't do this right now, Finn." Poe said, voice shaking, "I-I'm sorry." Then he ran off into the base. Finn stood there, heartbroken. He'd put himself out there, and now he was left exposed. Poe ran through the base, tears streaming down his face. He didn't know where he was going, he just ran, and ran, and ran, right into Rey's arms. She almost seemed to have caught him.

"What's wrong?" Rey asked, "Poe, what's wrong?" Poe just pulled away from her, and kept running. Rey took off after him. He finally got to the end of the hallway, and collapsed. Rey caught up to him. Gasping, and sobbing, Poe sat on the ground, Rey sat next to him.

"Poe?" She pressed, "what happened?"

"I had to- I had to push him away," Poe said, "I didn't want to but I had to."

"What do you mean?" Rey asked.

"He kissed me..."

"What?"

"But I had to push him away."

"Why?"

"Because, I have to focus on helping the Resistance, I just can't worry about anything else."

"Poe," Rey spoke softly, "your feelings matter. You can't just push your feelings down."

"You can," Poe said, "if you push hard enough." Rey put her arms around Poe, and hugged him. They sat there for a long time.

Finn, didn't know what to do. He thought that he could make Poe happy, but he had started to think otherwise. He actually thought he could. But he couldn't. He had failed, he had failed Poe, and now he would probably never talk to him, never look at him, and definitely never love him, ever. He'd ruined his chances. Then he felt a rain, on his skin, but he didn't move. He let the rain cascade down on top of him. After awhile he was soaked. Then the wind started to blow, and he pulled his jacket tighter around him, Poe's jacket. In frustration Finn tore the jacket off, threw it on the ground, and ran inside.


	3. Chapter 3

"A secret First Order base," General Leia stated, "on Geonosis." They had all gathered in what seemed to be an old control room. Poe was standing next to Leia, his eyes were puffy and red from crying. Rey stood in the back of the room by the door, when Finn walked in. The first thing Poe noticed was that he wasn't wearing his jacket. Tears welled up in his eyes. Poe had to swallow hard so the tears would go away. Rey noticed the jacket was missing too, and that Finn was soaked from head to toe. "We need to send a one man fighter," Leia continued, "to go and gather as much intel as possible on this new base." Leia than turned to Poe, "Is the X-Wing you were working on operational?" Poe deeply inhaled. "Yeah," he responded, "should work just fine." His voice quaked, but no one seemed to notice. "Good," Leia said, "we just need one pilot to go." A silence fell over the room. After the day they had had, the sound of a spy mission wasn't very inviting. For at least a minute no one said anything. The Poe cleared his throat. "I'll go," Poe said, Finn gasped, everyone stared at Poe, "a spy mission, to a secret base, why not?" his tone was joking but he couldn't hide the sadness in his voice. No one argued. "Ok," Leia said, "I'll brief you on the mission in an hour. Get some rest everyone." And with that the group dispersed, to try and find somewhere to rest. Poe walked out the door, but his arm was caught by someone. He turned to Rey grabbing his arm, next to her stood Finn. They waited until the room cleared. "Poe," Rey started, "why are you doing this? It's a suicide mission, you get that, right?" Poe looked at Rey, then at Finn, once again noticing that he was missing his flight jacket. "Yeah," he said, "I know." Then he yanked his arm away from Rey, and walked out. Rey looked back at Finn. He had tears rolling down his cheeks. "It's my fault," Finn said, "He's going on a suicide mission, and it's all my-" He stopped and started sobbing. Finn sank to the ground, and buried his head in his knees. Rey sat next to him, and put her arm around his shoulders. "It's not your fault," Rey said, "he volunteered because no one else would." But Finn only shook his head. "He looked straight at me," he said, "he noticed I don't have the flight jacket. I was just so upset. I want to be with him. But he doesn't want to be with me." "Yes he does." Rey said. "No he doesn't." "Yes, he does. He told me, but he's more worried about helping the Resistance. He keeps pushing his feelings aside." Finn picked up his head, and wiped his eyes. "Really?" He asked. "Really." Rey replied. Then they just sat there, enjoying each others company.

Poe, General Leia, and some other resistance members, stood outside by the X-Wing. She had given him a quick briefing on the mission. He was to go to the base, and keep his comlink on and tell them everything he saw as he saw it, incase something went wrong. Not the best mission plan Poe thought, but it was enough. He climbed into the X-Wing. BB-8 was pulled into the droid socket. As the cover closed, Poe felt as if he was being suffocated. He knew he'd probably die on this mission. But that was how it was with every mission. He looked down through the X-Wing cover. He saw General Leia and the resistance members, he knew they were there, that's not what he wanted to see. He was looking for Rey, or even Finn, someone, anyone, so he knew he hadn't hurt them too much. But all he saw was his jacket, the jacket he had given to Finn when they had reunited on D'Qar. He forced himself to look at the X-Wings controls, they were old, but not impossible to understand. He took a breathe, and started to take off. Rey woke with a start, she had fallen asleep sitting with Finn. She looked to her left to see him sleeping as well. She looked to her right expecting to see someone, but there wa no one. Then she realized who she was looking for. She turned back to Finn, and started to shake his shoulder. "Finn," she called, "Finn, Finn!" Finn woke with a start. "What," he asked, "what, what?" "What time is it?" Rey said. Finn looked at her quizzically, then realized why she was asking. He jumped up, and sprinted out the door, Rey was right behind him. They got outside just in time to see Poe's X-Wing leave the moon's atmosphere. "NO!" Finn cried, "No, no, no." General Leia turned around to face Finn and Rey. "Finn, Rey" she said quietly, "Come on inside." Leia walked past them and back into the control room, Finn and Rey trailed behind her. Resistance members slowly trickled in behind them. Everyone taking seats where they could find them. Leia took out her comlink, turned it on, and set it on a table. "Poe?" she asked into the comm, "Poe do you copy." There was a moment of tense silence, then through the comm came a response. "I copy General." Poe said, "About to exit hyperspace in 3, 2, 1." Through the comlink came the sound of an X-Wing exiting from hyperspace. Poe stared at the tan planet, it looked deserted. He took a deep breathe and spoke into his comlink, "Nothing on the immediate surface." then he lowered the comlink, "BB-8 start scanning for lifeforms or traces of technology." BB-8 beeped a response and started scanning. Within minutes the droid beeped. Poe flew the X-Wing to where the droid had directed him. When he saw what the droid had scanned, he gasped. "General," he said, "I wish you could see this." The size of the so called secret base shocked Poe. How could you have a secret base this large. It was the size of a large city, with towering black skyscrapers, and even from space Poe could see the First Order flags flying. "What do you see commander?" Leia's voice came through the comlink. Poe told her everything he saw, the black towers, the red and black flags, everything. "commander, get out of there, now. We underestimated the size of this base. Get out of there before you get into any trouble." Poe knew he should listen to the General but he didn't want to return, he hadn't yet completed the mission. "Give me a few more minutes General, maybe we can-" "No commander, return now." Leia spoke harshly into the comlink, but Poe had already stated the descent into the atmosphere of the planet. He had decided to land his X-Wing on the outskirts of the city, and maybe find an officer to knock out to steal a uniform. "Landing the X-Wing on the surface now." Poe said. "Commander! Don't!" Leia said urgently. "Poe please." A different voice spoke through the comlink,and he recognized it as Finn's voice. Poe's heart surged at the sound of Finn's voice, but immediately he remembered the pain that his relationship with Finn had caused him. "I'm sorry," Poe said, and switched off his comlink. "Poe!" Finn yelled in frustration. When no response came from the comlink, he kicked the chair he'd been sitting in. It fell and skidded across the floor. Leia sat back in her chair, and Rey grabbed Finn's arm to prevent him from knocking over a box. Everyone in the room muttered, all of them quietly wondering if the comlink would ever turn back on. Poe Dameron walked briskly through the halls. The loose fitting stormtrooper armor shifting uncomfortably as he went through the halls of the enormous base. The large blaster in his hands threatening to fall to the floor. He'd landed his X-Wing, a good walk away from the base, figuring he was less likely to be seen landing from a distance, but at the same time, he would have further to run if he was caught. Poe fiddled with the comlink he held in his closed fist. It had been hours since he'd shut it off. He needed to reestablish contact with General Organa, but he didn't want her scolding him to attract the attention of an officer or trooper. He walked further, until he found a small gap in the wall, he stepped in. It immediately reminded him of when Finn had rescued him, he had pushed him into a passageway like this one, and told him he was there to rescue him. The memory was one Poe held very dearly, but now was not the time to get caught up in the past. He turned the comlink on, and held it up to his masked face. "General?" the word came out as more of a question than a statement. "DAMERON!" Leia barked into the comlink, "you're in so much trouble." "Yeah, I know," Poe said, "but can it wait?" "Why?" Leia asked, "you are on your way back to the base, right?" Poe hesitated, "RIGHT?" Leia said harshly.  
"Well," Poe said, dragging out the word, "not exactly." "Poe?" The general sounded worried. He hated to worry her. "I'm inside the base," Poe said hesitantly. "WHAT!" Leia yelled. "Quite!" Poe said, "I stole armour, they can't tell it's me." The was a distance muffle of sounds from that came from the comm. "Hey Poe," a different voice came from the comm. Poe recognized it as Rey's. "Um, the General, is no longer available." "What?" Poe asked, "She walked out." Rey calmly said. "Oh," Poe said then lowered his voice, "how's Finn?" "He's fine," Rey said, "he went for a walk a little while ago. He got kinda mad when you turned off your comm. He kicked a chair, it was kinda funny." "So he's mad at me?" Poe asked. "Yeah, kinda," Rey said, "Please come back Poe, we don't want you to get hurt, or killed." "I would, but I'm already here." "Poe." Rey said sternly, she could be serious when she needed to. "I'm sorry Rey, someone's coming," Poe said, and turned off his comm. He hoisted his blaster and stepped out of the passageway and continued down the hall. He tensed as he past an Officer trailed by two stormtroopers. He turned a corner, and gasped at what he saw. Hangers full of dozens of TIE fighters. He quickly switched on his comm, and was met by loud noises. "Shhh," Poe hissed into the comm. The noises quickly stopped. "Dameron," Leia hissed, through the comm, "if you don't get your-" "Yeah, yeah, listen they have hangers full of dozens and dozens of TIEs." "How many?" Leia questioned, suddenly forgetting her scolding. "I've counted at least ten, but this hall goes on for long time." Poe answered quietly. There was silence on the other end of the comm. Closing his fist around the blasters hilt, so that the comm pressed against it, he continued walking down the hall. He passed hanger, after hanger, after hanger, all filled with TIES. "Poe," A voice came through the comm. He recognized it as Finn's. Slipping into another cramped passageway Poe raised the comm to his mouth. "Finn?" Poe questioned, but he already knew it was him. Back on Endor, Finn was standing in an abandoned hall with Rey not far away. Rey had asked if they could talk to Poe. Leia had willingly agreed. It wasn't like they were trying to get away from anyone, since most people had left the control room. The only people left in the control room were Leia, Connix, D'Acy. But they felt the need to go out anyway. "Yeah," Finn spoke softly, "how are you holding up?" The question took Poe by surprise. He'd thought that Finn would've immediately demand he return. "I'm doing ok," Poe said, slowly, "how are you?" "Ok, I guess," Finn said, his voice shaking, "I'm worried about you." With that Poe's heart warmed. But he couldn't push past the pain, the pain of seeing him kiss Rose, or the pain of seeing his jacket in a crumpled heap. He wanted desperately to move on, to just be with Finn, but that couldn't happen, not yet. "I'll be back soon," Poe told him, "I promise." "Ok," Finn said softly. Then the comm switched off. Poe stepped out of the passageway, and ran right into an officer. "Sorry, Officer." Poe spoke crisply. Then turned down the hall, looking for the nearest exit. "Trooper!" the officer barked, but Poe kept going, his walk turning to a run. He eventually got to an exit, but the officer was still on his tail. He burst out into the hot air of the rough planet. He kept his helmet on, as he sprinted across the rough ground, hearing alarms go off in the back round. He could also here troopers running behind him. He could see the X-Wing, just down the hill he'd run up. He made a mad dash for it, franticly flinging off the armour. In the X-Wing BB-8 saw Poe sprinting for the X-Wing. He immediately started firing up the X-Wing. Poe ran to the X-Wing, climbed the ladder, and opened the hatch. He pulled himself in, finding the X-Wing already fired up, and ready to launch. He pulled the yoke of the X-Wing, lifting it off the ground. Then he switched on his comm. "Leaving now" He spoke quickly, frantically flipping switches on the control panel. "But I've been spotted, no TIES released yet, but they know someone is here that isn't supposed to be." "What!" Rey's voice came through the comm, "Poe, hurry!" He could hear her footsteps as she ran back to the control room. When Rey reached the control room, she through the comm over to Leia. "Poe got himself into a little bit of a," She hesitated, "situation." The General just sighed. "Dameron," She said, sounding extremely annoyed. "In a little bit of a tight spot right now General." He flipped more switches, and broke free of the planets atmosphere, only to hear the screeching engines of TIE Fighters, "And here come the TIEs." He briefly turned around to see dozens of TIEs following him. He pulled the yoke of the X-Wing, to turn it around to face the TIEs. He started firing, into the parade. When he hit one it would spin into others, creating a domino effect. "POE?" Leia yelled through the comm, "Are you engaging the fighters?" "Maybe," Poe yelled, as he fired more shots into the parade. "Disengage now!" Leia yelled. Finn looked over at the general, he could see the fear in her eyes, he could feel the fear in his. "Finn, I love y- " Poe's sentence was cut off by an explosion. "POE?!" Finn screamed. "Commander?" Leia said desperately. But there was no response from the comm. Leia sank into her chair. Finn, collapsed to the floor, in a sobbing heap. Rey ran over and held him close to her. She tried to use her connection to the Force to sense Poe, but her emotions were to strong, and she couldn't feel anything. Connix and D'Acy were sitting together, sobbing, no one could comprehend what had just happened. 


	4. Chapter 4 (final chapter)

Finn needed fresh air, he needed to clear his head, to think straight. His head hurt from sobbing, his eyes burned from the tears, his sleeves were wet with tears, and his heart ached from the loss. He stepped out of the base. The sun shone through the leaves, creating dancing shadows on the ground. In one of the beams of light was a pile of brown fabric, Finn slowly walked up to it. He picked up Poe's jacket. He sat by the base, leaning against the walls. He clutched the jacket and cried into the smooth fabric. His hand ran over, the stitches, which made him cry even harder. Why hadn't he tried harder to fix their relationship? He should've tried harder, Poe loved him. Finn knew he loved him back. He clutched the jacket, as more sobs racked his body. Just then he felt a light touch on his shoulder.

"Hey," Rey's soft voice spoke just above him, "breathe, just breathe." He sensed her sitting next to him, but didn't look up. He felt her arm around his shoulders, he looked at her, tears streaming down his face. He could see the tears in her eyes.

"I loved him," Finn croaked, "I loved him."

"I know you did," Rey spoke softly, "I know." Finn placed his head on Rey shoulder. She pulled him closer, and they sat there, sharing their grief.

Hours past, and Rey and Finn just sat outside. They sat until the sun went down, and the forest went dark. With the dark also came the cool air, and the sounds of creatures in the trees. So, Rey and Finn walked inside, closing the door behind them. The searched the corridors till they found the bunks where others were resting. They found two stacked bunks. Finn climbed up the ladder to the top bunk, as Rey settled into the bottom bunk. Finn laid down on the uncomfortable bunk, and stared at the ceiling.

"How the heck do you turn off these lights?" someone called out. There was a spark of laughter then the lights shut off. Laying in the dark room Finn silently let tears stream down his cheeks. He didn't know what to do. He clutch the jacket, pulled it close, and fell into a deep sleep.

By the morning word had gotten around to everyone, that Poe had died. Finn sat on the bunk, clutching the jacket to his chest. Rey brought him some food they had found, but he didn't eat. She came back and forth from guard duty, and helping fix the bases systems. She was worried for Finn, she'd realized that Finn hadn't ate the food she brought. He was drinking any water either, or talking. She worried that he was losing his will to live. She was walking back to the bunks when Leia pulled her aside.

"How's Finn doing?" She asked quietly.

"Not good," Rey replied, she felt her eyes watering, "he's not eating or drinking. He won't talk to anyone. He's just sitting, I'm afraid, afraid he's lost his will to live." She broke into tears, Leia held Rey closely, in what felt like a mother's embrace.

"You're under so much stress." Leia said quietly, "I'm surprised you've made it this far. Your strong Rey, and it's ok to break sometimes. If you want someone else to check on Finn periodically, I could find someone." Rey took a deep breath, and wiped away her tears.

"I can do it. Plus, I don't think Finn knows anyone else very well here. I can do it." Her tone was light, and Leia smiled at her. She gave her one more quick hug, before walking off. REy turned and headed towards the bunks. When she walked in she saw Finn still sitting on the bed. The food she brought untouched. She climbed the ladder to sit with Finn. When she sat next to him, he didn't move.

"Finn?" She spoke softly, as if speaking to a scared kid.

"Yeah?" Finn spoke even quieter.

"Finn," Rey continued, "You have to eat. You have to drink. You can't just give up. Poe would've wanted you to, keep living. He loved you Finn, he loved you so much. Yes, he wouldn't be upset at you being sad, but he'd be disappointed if you gave up." Finn turned to Rey, his eyes and cheeks wet from tears.

"How can I carry on?" He asked dryly, "I lost the one person I loved. How can I move on, I miss him so much, I want him back. To hold him, to be with him, to— to kiss him again. I want him back Rey, I want him back." Finn broke down wrapped her arms around him again. She pulled him close, and let him sob into her shoulder.

Days had past, and Finn was starting to feel a little better. He'd started helping out afters his talk with Rey, and found that the old base had used similar, but older, technology to that used on Starkiller Base. He'd immediately found jobs to do, and things he could fix. He took guard and look out duty like everyone else, He'd also helped search the base for non perishable food. HE was fitting in more and more with the Resistance. He had realized that Poe had been right to tell him he belonged here. That made the loss sting more.

Later that day Finn was out on guard duty, staring at the sky, when he saw a streak of light. He immediately recognized it as a ship coming out of hyperspace. He immediately rushed inside. He ran straight into the control room.

"General," He said, panting, "a ship just came out of hyperspace, right above the planet." General Organa, looked up, fear in her eyes.

"Show me." She said. Finn lead her to where he'd been standing guard. Many people had followed him outside. They all looked up at the sky, to see the ship descending. As it got closer, the shape became more defined. The X shaped wings came more into focus, and the long front of the ship sharpeded. The shape was impossible to not recognize. The X-Wing touched down in the clearing, and the hatch opened.

"Poe?" Leia asked, as a man stepped out of the X-Wing.

"POE!" Finn yelled, and ran to the X-Wing. Before Poe could even completely get off the ladder, Finn lifted him off. Poe wrapped his legs around Finn's waist to prevent himself from falling.

"You're, you're ok." Finn said, his voice shaking, tears in his eyes, "you're not dead!"

"Of course I'm not," Poe said, laughing lightly, then whispered "god I missed you." Poe grasped Finn's jacket, and kissed him. At first Finn was shocked by the tenderness of Poe's kiss. He soft lips against his rough one's. But his shock didn't last long. He let himself melt into Poe's kiss. There were cheers, and whistles from the group, as Finn and Poe kissed. Poe let his legs drop, as Finn's grip around him loosen, but their lips remained locked. When they finally did break apart, Poe's cheeks were red. Finn couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or tired. Poe smiled at Finn, and Finn smiled back. Rey came up and hugged both men. They all laughed in relief and exhaustion. Finn let his arm drop from Poe's waist. Without Finn's support Poe crumpled to the ground from exhaustion.

"Whoa!" Finn gasped, and immediately dropped next to him. Draping his arms around his shoulders, Finn lifted Poe up, letting him lean against him, wrapping his free arm around his waist. Rey grabbed Poe's other arm, draping it over her shoulders. Poe smiled again.

"When did you get a lovey dovey?" Poe said, weakly laughing. Finn just laughed, helping the the limping Poe through the crowd. People clapped as the went through the crowd. Finn and Rey helped Poe to the old med center and laid him on an old cot. Poe groaned in pain.

"How'd you get back?" Rey asked.

"Well," Poe said, "my ship never exploded. I mean like, part of one of the engines did, and that the explosion you guys heard, I'm guessing. But my comm cut out because it fell and I stomped on it, on accident of course. I was able to escape through hyperspace. But my engine was pretty badly broken. I had to stop at Bespin, where I had myship fixed. Then I hopped around space a little to make sure that the First Order hadn't followed me, before I returned back here." Poe gave a weak smile, the winced again. Finn didn't even realize he looked worried until Poe said something.

"Hey." he said, "don't worry, I'll be ok." He grasped Finn's hand. His hands were rough, but comforting. Finn smiled. He stood there holding Poe's hand, until he felt Poe's grip loosen. He looked down to see that Poe had passed out from exhaustion, but he still didn't leave his side.

Poe stood outside the base, looking up into the sky. Suddenly a star destroyer cut through the sky. Before he could do anything, a ball of electricity cut through sky. It struck the base, causing it to explode in flames, and send him flying back. Poe stood up and ran to the base.

"FINN!" he cried, "FINN! FINN!"

"FINN!" Poe yelled, as he sat up violently in the cot.

"What!" Finn snapped awake. He'd fallen asleep sitting on the floor nexts to Poe's cot. HE turned to see tears streaming down his face. Finn lifted himself onto the cot, and wrapped his arms around Poe.

"Hey," he whispered, "I'm right here, it was just a bad dream. I'm right here."

"But it felt so real—" Poe said weakly.

"It'll be ok." Finn replied, and held Poe tightly. He turned his head towards him, "It'll be ok." He kissed Poe gently, letting their lips melt together.

"Finn?" A female voice called, Finn let his lips break away from Poe's, and turned to see Rose, sitting up in her cot, staring at Finn and Poe. In her eyes a mix of anger and sadness. "What, what's going on here?" Finn could see her eyes welling up with tears.

"Rose," He started, tripping over his words, "uh-um, it's, uh, nothing's." The minute the words left Finn's lips, he wanted to take them back. He felt Poe squirm to get loose of Finn's embrace. Finn let his arms drop. Poe stood up, looked at Finn one more time, then looked at Rose, then looked back at Finn. He started to walk out the door, but Finn grabbed his arm,

"Poe," He started, "I— I didn't, I. Don't go." Poe just tugged his arm away, his eyes pleading for Finn to let him go, "Don't go. I didn't mean it like that, don't, please don't go." his voice wavered. Poe glanced back over at Rose, he realized he'd started to dislike her. Not hate her, but ever since she kissed Finn, Poe'd seen her as a competition. Remembering the pain he'd felt when he'd seen Rose kiss Finn, he looked back at Finn. Rose walked over and pressed her lips to Finn's. Poe yanked his arm away from Finn and walked off. Finn pushed Rose away.

"Finn?" Rose asked, voice wavering, "I thought… I… You… Us."

"Rose," Finn spoke slowly, minding his words, "there never was an us. I've loved Poe from the beginning, and he loves me."

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!" Rose yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks, "You were raised by the First Order, who taught you to not give a damn about others, you don't know what love is! But I could show you. Poe can't…. Please, let me show me." She took Finn's hand, and looked into his eyes. For a moment Finn believed her, he believed she could show him real love. But then he remembered how he felt when Poe had kissed him, and he pulled his hand away from hers. "That's where you're wrong." Finn said coldly, "He can show me love, and I know what love is."

"Finn!" Rose called, "FINN!" but Finn didn't turn around.

Poe walked to control room. He was surprised to find it empty. He sat in one of the revolving chairs, and thought about Finn. He didn't know how to feel about Rose or Finn or anything. He'd thought Rose was out of Finn's mind, but he wasn't sure anymore. He stared up at the grey ceiling, and spun the chair. Pretty soon he was dizzy. He stood up to leave, but as he stood his legs immediately gave out. But his fall was stopped by someone.

"Whoa there pilot." Finn's voice whispered, "You ok?" His vision refocusing Poe looked up at Finn. His flawless dark skin, his dark eyes, and sharp jaw, he realized he'd love him no matter what.

"Look," Finn began, "back there with Rose, she doesn't mean anything to me. I love you and only you, I didn't mean to—"

"You so adorable." Poe whispered, as he kissed Finn. Their kiss quickly intensified. Poe pinned Finn against a wall, their lips still locked. Their kiss was interrupted by Leia.

"Excuse me, I'm trying to run a rebellion here." She said, sounding annoyed. "So, if you guys are done sharing air, we need people for guard duty."

"Yes General," Poe nodded, his cheeks bright red. Leia left the room, and Finn smiled at Poe.

"Come on." He said, "we should go."

"One minute." Poe said, he reached down the back of his shirt, and pulled up a chain. He lifted the chain over his head, and Finn relied it was a ring on a necklace, "This was my mothers ring, given to me to give to my chosen partner." Poe place the ring in Finn's open palm, kissing him again he whispered. "Keep it, it suits you."

The End

And that is the end folks. I know it doesn't seem like a long journey, but I started this fanfic back in January (yikes). This story has gone through so many edits (like all my friends have read over it and made suggestion) so it means so much to me that people read it. I just wanna say thank you! and I look forward to posting more stories, I already have a Stucky story going (yay). Stay tuned for more, till then, tata!


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